Once Again I Lead My Self To This Betrayal
by Ravensgurl41
Summary: NWA-TNA RAVEN is Betrayed By THE GATHERING But WHY? Chapter 2 Up! Please Read and Review
1. A Man Left Broken To Trust Nevermore

Title: Once Again I Lead Myself To This Betrayal 

Author: Cat Lea Ravensgurl41@aol.com

Rating: R because it might get dark being it is a Raven Story

Disclaimer: Scott Levy owns Raven and He works for the NWA-TNA. Don't own anything or any one other then my children. Don't get anything from this story other then enjoyment or maybe a few reviews. 

Story Summary: This is most likely Dark and Angst as it is about Raven and the Gathering after they betrayed him on Dec. 17, 2003

Chapter One: A Man Left Broken To Trust "Nevermore"

Chapter Rating: PG implied M/M liking.

Author Notes: Be nice am all that I ask. Flames are fine but remember that this is at least part angst as my muses are pissed off at what the writers at NWA-TNA had The Gathering do on Dec. 17, 2003. I am writing this for two reasons one is that if I don't my Raven muse will never leave me along and Two that if I don't get this out of my system I will never be able to love Julio and CM Punk again. Sorry Raven is my first love over at NWA-TNA. I am also writing this in hope of giving some sort of reason to this madness and hopefully in the end have it ending well. I am also writing this for three really great Raven writers who inspirer me to write. They are SpyElf, Hearts Desire, and RavensEnigma who keeps me going when I am in a Raven and the Gathering mood. Which is always. Will it ever end? (My Obsession with Raven!)

Well to Quoth the Raven: 

I think you hear me knocking,

I think I'm coming in, 

Quoth the Raven,

"Nevermore"

Please read and review.

Chapter One

A Man Left Broken To Trust "Nevermore"?

* Raven slowly starts to come back to reality almost a half hour after Julio and CM Punk take their leave of the asylum following Jarrett, Don Callis and the Red Shirts up the ramp. After totally betraying him and ruining all chance of him getting a chance at the belt they taunted him before leaving with the enemy. Raven finally takes his head out of his hands and looks up. He has been sitting in the center of the cage and crying the whole time after they left him. Left him a bloodied and broken man who's destiny is unknown right now. His eyes are red and swollen and he has tear streaks running down his face. He sees that a battered Wildcat Chris Harris and even more battered Cowboy James Storm along with Erik Watts are sitting quietly on a couple of chairs right outside of the cage. They are watching him closely but not daring to come into the cage by him. Which right now was the smartest thing that they could do because with Raven they never knew what he would do when he was this upset. Hell not that they ever really seen him this up set. They had seen him one time beat the hell out of Sandman and it was over a lot less then any one part of this mess. Raven finally gets himself to his feet and slowly makes his way toward the door of the cage. As he reaches it Erik Watts stands up and opens it up so that he can step through it. Wildcat and Cowboy both stand up waiting for Raven to step out. As he does his knee that Abyss decided to kick about a dozen times gives out causing him to stumble almost causing him to go falling down the steps. He would have hit the ground at the bottom of the steps but for the fast moves of Wildcat who grabbed his arms just in time to stop him. Raven looks up and silently nods his thanks. Wildcat can see that he is hurting and hurting badly but not just physically from the beating that he took in the ring. He can see the deep sorrow in Raven's eyes that goes all the way down to his very soul. But even more then that Wildcat and the other two men there can see the unmistakable confusion as to why Julio Dinero and CM Punk would betray him like they did. They were all shocked when that had happened as the two of them did it just as it looked as if Raven was going to finally start to full fill his destiny. He had the win in the bag and after that in just three weeks he was going to have his title shot at Jarrett and the belt. Something that they all knew that Raven would have won. But now the chances of that ever happening were gone. Gone and at the hands of the two people that Raven trusted and loved the most. Maybe even the only people that he trusted completely since coming here to the NWA-TNA from the WWE. The WWE where he was also betrayed by the people that he trusted and loved the most. Just like the WCW and the ECW. All Wildcat could think of to do was to gently wrap Raven in his arms. Still neither of them saying anything at all. All Wildcat could do was just try to give the comfort that he knew Raven was in bad need right now. He then gently hands him to Cowboy who does the same thing wrapping him in as if he could some how take some of the hurt away. Both men notice that Raven puts up no fight as if he doesn't have any fight left in him. After a few minutes a sob tries to break its way free from the heart that feels lost and broken in his chest. Raven quickly pulls free of Cowboys embrace and looks over at Erik who is still standing with the door in his hand. Erik goes to open his mouth to say something to make some promise that they can fix this but he slowly shuts his mouth because he doesn't know how to fix this one. Or even if he can fix this one. Sure he could go to the board and see if there was some way of changing the final out come. To see if there is some chance that Raven could still get a shoot at Jarrett and the belt. Hell he would bet that there was. But he can't fix or change the most important part of the out come tonight. And that was what the Gathering did to Raven. Not just costing him his shot at the belt but the betrayal of his heart. More importantly was the betrayal of his heart. For one look at the hurt and broken man in front of him and he knew that he never seen it coming. Hell none of them had seen it coming. Raven looks down at the ground and way from the three men who still have said not a word because what words do you use in a case where your friend and colleague starts the day happy go lucky and then ends it broken. A lost soul in so many ways. And in Ravens case what does he say to his friends when just an hour ago he felt like the luckiest man on the earth. When he felt that for once he was where he was finally going to get everything that he deserved. Hell isn't that even what Punk had said in their post match interview? So finally all the bad that he have gone through in your life was finally going to end or at least have a meaning. That with the love or in this cases the loves Julio and CM of his life he was going to make it to the top. He was going to be someone that they could be proud of not the old Raven that didn't do any thing to make anyone proud. But now it was gone but what hurt him even more was that they were gone. In just a blink of an eye the turned there back on him, hurt him in the worst possible way and then left him there to be alone. The chances at the belt gone because he trusted his own loyal partners. Hell not just his partners but his...Lovers. Raven shakes his head and as the tears once more starts to make tracks down his face he slowly turns to makes his way up the ramp towards the back. Back towards the Raven's Lair, which just a few hours ago was a happy place to be because it was their room. Their place to be along and away from the world but also to be with each other. But then a few hours ago any place that all three of them were together was a happy place to be. Wildcat, Cowboy and Erik all watch as Raven reaches the top of the ramp and then slowly turns back toward the ring. He slowly lifts his head and stares down and into the ring not seeing them but seeing the hell he went through there tonight. Replaying every hit and word said in that ring. He has a look on his face that scares all three men for it is one of angry, hate, lose and even death. He stares so hard that it looks like he is looking down into the depths of hell for a soul that he lost. Or worst yet for a soul that he was trying to lose once more. After a few moments he turns and slowly heads behind the big black curtain and out of the sight of his friends. The three men look at each other and then back up the ramp to where Raven was just stand not two seconds ago. After a second they look at each other and without talking they can read the looks in the others eyes. For all three of them knew that Raven was going to need three things right now if he was to survive this. To make it past these gates of Hell. One if Raven is going to make it through this without going back to his old vices of pills and alcohol and darkness he is going to have to have friends around to help and to watch over him. Something that for the last year no one but Julio and CM have been allowed to handle. Keeping him clean and on track for his destiny was their job because they made it their job but yet now there was no one to do it. Because the two men who took that job and wouldn't let anyone else in to help just up and walked away. Two that they were going to have to find a way for Raven to get that shoot at Jarrett and the belt some how because he deserved it. He followed all the rules and all the dumb ass things thrown in his way. And he would have had it if he were not betrayed right there in the center of the ring by his own Gathering. And three, which was in their minds the most important thing for Raven and his survival, was the answer to why? Why did Julio and CM betray him and not only in the ring but also in love. How do you hug and kiss someone one second and tell them that you love him? And then in the next second hit him in the head with a chair just as his destiny is about to be full filled. And how if any way could they fix it? How do you mend a heart that was so full one minute and then empty the next because the people that you give it to break it in half? How do you mend it or even begin to mend it? *

Author Notes: Please Read and Review. Being as Raven is my new Obsession or maybe I should say an old one returned you will be seeing more. This will not follow exactly what is happening but will have some parts. If you love Raven then catch him on NWA-TNA, as that is where his home is now. 

Thanks,

Cat Lea

Ravensgurl41@aol.com

Legalities: Scott Levy (Raven), Wildcat Chris Harris, CM Punk, Julio Dinero, Cowboy James Storm, and any other mentioned characters are property of NWA -TNA. I claim no knowledge of each of the characters sexual preferences or lives. This is a story of fiction; none of these events are real which means I made them up. I received absolutely no profit from this story except for my ego in reviews.


	2. Lost Faith

Author Notes: Please read and reviews and let me know if I am on the right track with this one please. I am having trouble deciding which way to take it because this stupid betrayal is making me totally nuts. (I WANT THEM TO BE TOGETHER!!!!!) If you think that they shouldn't be let me know but give me a good reason. This story goes out to SpyElf and RavensEnigma who out I wouldn't even have been hooked on Raven or the Gathering. Or America's Most Wanted Wildcat Chris Harris or Cowboy James Storm. And hope that everyone likes what he or she is reading. 

Chapter Two

Lost Faith

*After what they had done to Raven, Julio and Punk should have raced it the hell out of the Asylum but they didn't. For that fact they just couldn't even though they knew that they should have. So instead they stood back just behind the curtain watching him. Watching him sitting there crying. Crying they knew for a lost destiny. One destiny that should have been his long ago. But they knew that he was crying even more so for the betrayal and lost love. This shouldn't have bothered them because it was after all what they had done to him. But it was bothering them and it would have been easy enough for anyone to tell. Anyone could have seen it just in the way that CM was clinging to Julio hand like he was a young child losing a parent with his heart breaking into pieces. Or who would have seen the tears making tracks down Julio face as a look of hopelessness settled over him. But no one seen this because they had concealed themselves into a spot that was well hidden from the world. Or at least so they though because there was one person watching them from his own hidden spot. They had chosen this spot so that they could watch but not be seen by any one who would tell. They both knew that they did what they had to do but that didn't stop it from hurting. Slowly Punk could watch Raven crushed form no longer. So he turns his sobbing body into Julio who grips him tightly trying to comfort him any way he can. Julio opens his mouth to try and say words of comfort but shuts it when none will come. For what do you say to one love that will comfort him about totally crushing another love? Even if you had no choice but to do what you did. So all he could do was hold Punk, Raven's littlest baby bird closely hoping that someday the pain would go away before it consumed him. He hoped that his own pain would go away soon too. While Punk has his head buried into Julio's chest he knows that this was the hardest thing that either one of them have ever had to do. He also knows that in so many ways this will just be the beginning of bad things to come. He believes given the choices that Julio and him where given that they did what they had to do. Making it none the easier but leaving them with no other choice. They had to protect their Birdman the only way they could. Their Birdman which now because of those choices given would be theirs "Nevermore". He was really starting to hate that phase. Just the thoughts had him crying even harder against Julio who was crying himself deep in his own thoughts. Both men knew that now all they could do was what they were told and hope that it was all for the best. That for now all they could do was to watch Raven when they could from a far. Julio gently leans down and kisses CM gently on the top of his head comforting him while drawing him in even tighter against his chest. All Julio could do now was to stand here and wait, watching and hoping that one of Ravens friends would take over caring for him now where Punk and he could not. For if no one did then they both knew that it wouldn't be long before Raven would be back to old ways and dark vises to help him forget the pain of their betrayal. Back to consumer him once more completely this time. Then it would be the end of him and this baby bird in his arms because there is no way with as emotional as CM is that he could watch Raven self-destruct. Not when they were the cause of it. And he knew in his heart that if he lost Punk on top of Raven then there would be nothing left for him. So all he could hope was that someone would take care of Raven. This way if someone did then his job would be to keep Punk from breaking down and losing it completely because times ahead did not look good for any of them. This wasn't supposed to be how they went into the holidays they had made their plans but now all he could do was watch and wait. Julio who was deep in his own thoughts almost doesn't notice that Wildcat Chris Harris and Cowboy James Storm along with Erik Watts make their way down to the cage. He sees that they don't enter the cage but grab a few chairs to sit down at cage side and to wait. He realizes that with everything that has happened tonight and with Ravens temper that that was the smartest thing they could have done on their parts. Julio knows that these men will take care of their love for at least tonight and most likely longer. He gently lifts Punk's face up till he is looking into his eyes. He sees that Punk is still crying and he has cried so much that his eyes are swollen and he is exhausted. He leans down and softly kisses him lips. Punk kisses Julio back with a need to be loved and to love. After a second Julio pulls back and turns Punk around so that he sees that the AMW and Erik Watts are at ringside watching over Raven. Punk nods all right and then gently pulls away from Julio walking just slightly closer looking intensely at Raven. He is shaking badly by this time so Julio walks up behind him and turns him around and back into his chest. This way CM can not watch some one else do the job that him and Julio have been doing now for over a year since Raven took them in. Watching Raven and helping him to stay on track had been their job and Julio understood that this was going to be hard to watch someone else do. Especially with the love they felt for the Birdman. He gently tugs on Punk to get him headed out of their hiding spot. Punk tries to pull back but Julio won't let him goes and starts to lead him down to the Raven's Lair. He has to get his and Punk's things and then get them out of there before Raven comes back down to the Lair. He knows that neither him nor Punk is ready or able to deal with Raven right now or the feeling that they are having. They walk down the back hallway toward a room that just this evening was home to the three of them and their love for each other. They are both unaware of the fact that they are being watched and followed since leaving their hiding place and passing his not noticing him. Julio is so lost in thought that he almost doesn't hear the whimper that comes from Punk as they near the Lair. As Punk reaches a hand out for the doorknob he jumps back as if it has bitten him. Julio sees the fear and confusion on his face and the way he is now shaking even worst. He has a look that says he is ready to turn and run. Julio places his arm around Punk's waist tightening his grip on him. He then reaches out and grabs the doorknob as a feeling of doom washes over him. Punk senses this and reaches out placing his own hand over Julio's giving him comfort. They open the door and slowly enter leaving the door open wide as if they are afraid of getting locked in. Julio let go of Punk leaving him to stand in the middle of the room. He starts to quickly grab their stuff and is just throwing it into their bags. He figures the faster that they get out of there the better. While he is doing this he is unaware that Punk has gone over to Ravens locker and is carefully packing all of Raven's things up for him. Something that he has done since Raven has taken him under his wings. Punk has always teased Raven about his sloppy packing and one day Raven told him if he didn't like how he did it then he could do it for him. Ever since Punk has done just that. Julio comes out of their bathroom and sees Punk doing this and slowly walks over to him. Punk looks up with a lost and bewilder look on his face. After a moment he tries to smile but starts to cry instead. Julio pulls him in and starts to cry himself. Both are unaware of the fact that they are still being watched. They both do know that they have to get the hell out of there and now. Julio hands Punk his cross that he always has on except in the ring. He always said that he would be a lost soul without it. That it was this cross that helped him be able to have the strength to be straightedge. It was in the bathroom hanging from the mirror with Julio's choker that has a raven hanging from it. This has been his good luck charm ever since Raven gave it to him a few weeks after taking him in. So Julio had grabbed them both because he knew that they would need them if they were going to make it through this. He reaches down and grabs their bags from where he had sat them then turns and watches Punk. He is holding his cross up looking at it as if it has all the answers that Punk needed. He is so lost and confused that it shows across his face. After a few more seconds he walks over to the wastebasket and drops his cross into it. He then stands there looking down at it. Julio walks over to him and taking his choker from his neck puts it on CM who reaches up lightly touching the raven on it. CM then turns and walks out of the room without looking back. Julio starts to cry and follows him out closing the door as he leaves. He then heads out to the parking lot where he finds Punk shaking so bad he can't even get into the car. Julio helps him in and then throws their bags into the trunk before getting in behind the wheel. Punk is leaning over and puts his head on Julio's shoulder. He almost asleep in his seat before Julio even starts the car. Julio quickly kisses him on the head and then starts to car. Julio knows that he is going to be in for the fight of his life not to let Punk get lost without Raven there for him because he is so much like Raven that he could be lost so easily. He also knows that Punk has lost his faith completely which isn't going to help. And now some how he has to get all their stuff out of the apartment that they shared with Raven before he get there plus get then an hotel room. Both men have left the Asylum without saying a word since their betrayal of Raven. *

****

Author Notes: Please Review. Must have to figure out if good or bad. Please. Raven muse must have them to keep him happy. The happier he is the more that I get written.

Thanks,

Cat Lea

Ravensgurl41@aol.com 


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